Is it just me or does everything always seem to go wrong no matter what? No matter how much time you spend planning… no matter how brilliant the people you hire are… no matter how many deities you pray to or rabbit’s feet you collect… it’s never enough to prevent imminent disaster from striking at the worst possible times.
For some people, this phenomenon occurs in every area of their lives. For me, it happens each time I get the silly idea to tackle a new online project.
My first website, GetYourGirlBack.com was a total nightmare, and understandably so, since I knew nothing of internet marketing at the time. Next came JayCataldo.com, a site which should have been up in a week but took three months because of unforeseen problems.
By the time I was ready to launch DefinitiveDiva.com, you’d think I was a pro at foreseeing the unforeseeable.
Nope. More aggravation. More insanity. More handfuls of my hair ripped out by the roots.
And now, my newest site… the one that should have been up and running three months ago… is still not finished. When I say that every conceivable thing that can go wrong has… I’m not exaggerating in the least.
Have you ever had one of those days where you’re completely convinced Ashton Kutcher was about to burst through the door with a camera crew? How about having that day 120 days in a row? Yeah, something like that.
So how do I deal with all this nonsense? Whenever faced with life’s overwhelming adversities… such as finding a glaring error in a video I spent 14 hours recording… getting up to 50,000 followers on Twitter only to be unceremoniously banned for no reason… devoting six months of my life to a project that ends up netting me $3.14 a month… I do what most people do…
I freak the f*#$ out.
I scream, I curse and I punt small animals over the Brooklyn Bridge. I contemplate the quantum probability of my infinite number of failures and convince myself that I was undoubtedly cursed by a one-eyed gypsy woman. In bed, I toss and turn for hours, wondering why I ever left my comfort zone in the first place. And then I completely give up…
…until the next morning when I somehow forget about all the de-motivating things I said to myself, turn a blind eye to the pain and desolation I was bathed in just a few short hours ago and get right back to work.
But why?
Why on earth would anyone (who’s not a complete idiot) continue this pattern of behavior?
Because things almost always work out in the end. That’s why.
If you really think about it… no matter how crazy life seems to get, things usually have a way of working themselves out, albeit not as quickly as we would like.
- Almost every work related issue I ever ran into was somehow resolved a short time after. Even my Twitter ban (which is the stuff nightmares are made of) was lifted within 24 hours.
- Every relationship that ended in disaster taught me something important. And I realize, in retrospect, they would have eventually made me miserable had they not ended.
- All my childhood health issues pushed me to study nutrition and alternative medicine incessantly and, as a result, I now know how to take better care of myself than 90% of the population.
I could go on and on… but it’s probably a good time to make a point.
How many times have you flipped out and put your head through your new flat-screen TV over something that no longer mattered a few days later? How many hours have you wasted pacing back and forth, fretting over a hopeless situation that mysteriously worked itself out the next day? How many times have you let yourself become filled with blinding rage and snap out on someone who was unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time?
If you’re like me, the answer is somewhere in the gazillions. For whatever reason, no matter how many times the universe has come through for us in the past, it just takes one brand new disaster for us to lose all our faith and crank up our blood pressure to stratospheric heights.
Here’s the thing… problems are an integral part of life. I’ve come to realize the more you’re out there trying to make it happen, the more things will blow up in your face. It’s inevitable. In fact, if you DON’T have big problems in your life, then you need to get off your ass because you’re not doing anything that’s worthy of your time.
So… if massive problems along with massive headaches are almost guaranteed, then it would make sense to have a better coping strategy. And since getting all bent out of shape never helps the situation, and in fact, usually makes it worse (stress damages our insides, impairs our thinking and leads us to dump a ton of negativity onto those around us), we need to make a conscious decision to do things differently the next time the shit hits the fan.
As an experiment, it might be a good idea to repeat the following mantra whenever our world starts collapsing around us:
“Relax. This is just temporary. Everything will work out just like it always does. Woooosaaaahhhh.”
Unless, of course, your TV is still under warranty. If that’s the case, it’s time to break out the sledgehammer.
Oh, and about that “tranny” thing. I got the idea for this post from a spoof video of “Entourage.” Not only does it hysterically bash the show’s played out plot lines, it’s a great reminder of what we just discussed. Check it out and then share your own horror stories down below so I know I’m not the only one with a black cloud over my head. 😉
Make it happen,
-Jay Cataldo
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Jay, you sound just like me! No matter how hard I try to save money to move out of the Bronx, invariably, something always conspires to undermine my best-laid plans. Sometimes I say to myself, “If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no damn luck at all!” LOL
The I take a deep breath and say, “It is what it is and things will work out somehow in the end.”
Like the girlfriend I had back in 2000-2001 who had me falsely accused of domestic violence(I never struck her and will never strike a woman unless my life is in jeopardy). I spent thousands of dollars on an attorney, suffered great inconvenience and was negative and leery of womens’ motives for quite some time.
In the end, however, I learned a very valuable lesson, and that was that if a person is toxic, negative and brings nothing positive to your life, you should not be with them, no matter how attractive they are or how good they are in bed. And to me, that lesson was priceless! I’d still be using the same warped criteria for determining a woman’s worth had I not gone through what I went through with my ex. Now, instead of rationalizing and biting the bullet, so to speak, I don’t even enter into relationships unless they “feel right” and can benefit both parties in some way. I no longer deal with women who bring nothing to the table mentally, emotionally, intellectually and socially. And for that, I thank my ex, because without what I went through with her, I’d still be doing the same ole same ole, and basically wasting much time and energy.
I can definitely feel your blog, Jay. Great work!
Thanks, Carl. I think every man has to go through the same process. Since we’re never taught the consequences of poor mate selection, it’s a lesson we have to learn through direct experience.
It’s really unfortunate it had to go down the way it did, but I’m glad to see you made it out alive with just a few scrapes and bruises. The lesson you learned is priceless so you can be thankful for the experience and move towards bigger and better things. Now that you know what you’re looking for, you’re 1000 times more likely to find it.
Thanks Jay! This one was really what I needed to hear. It’s been a ROUGH six months for me but I keep looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. I really am convinced that we just need to hang on a couple more months, but staying positive is difficult when those around you go negative at the drop of a hat. Your column is a nice reminder not to take things so seriously. It’s the nature of our reality for things to change constantly. Thanks again.
Anytime, Jenise. Glad you enjoyed the article. Here’s a thought… instead of searching out the light, why not just create it yourself? Go make it happen.
I’m definately not the religious type more of the spiritual type so insert whatever label/pronoun/etc you want in this quote & i cant remember the 1st time i heard it or who i heard it from but they must have been a very wise person.. “God never gives us more than he thinks we can handle”.. there is also a country song by Brad Paisley called letter to me, its about how now as an older man what he would say if he could write a letter to himself as a younger boy, its a great song. Give it a listen!
Thanks, Melissa. I’ll check it out. 🙂
A lot of of guys write about this subject but you wrote down some true words.
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