I recently got to watch a breakup between a husband and wife unfold on Facebook which played out like a mini soap opera.\u00a0 What made it especially interesting was the fact that the guy is a pickup coach, very similar to that guy Mystery from the VH1 show \u201cThe Pickup Artist.\u201d<\/p>\n
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I wanted to comment on this breakup for two reasons: one, because I wrote a book on breakups and love studying them and two, because I feel you can usually learn something by watching how these situations play out.<\/p>\n
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So here\u2019s what happened:<\/p>\n
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After logging into my account a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that my most recent update was from this guy\u2019s wife (we\u2019ll call her Gina).\u00a0 It read something like, \u201cI\u2019m newly single and hate all men.\u00a0 I\u2019m turning lesbo.\u201d\u00a0 So far, so good (I fully support all women who want to switch teams).\u00a0 But then it started to get a little out of hand.<\/p>\n
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Every couple of hours, Gina would update her Facebook status with more blurbs about how much men suck and how badly she was hurt.\u00a0 Eventually, she committed a common, but MAJOR no-no: she started publicly attacking her husband\u2019s character (in a subtle, but still very obvious way).\u00a0 Her next comment was something like, \u201cMen, you should never take advantage of a woman\u2019s insecurities and make her feel worthless and small.\u00a0 It\u2019s not right to beat someone down emotionally just to keep them from leaving you.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Now what most guys would do in this situation is to immediate address whatever their girl said by posting their own public comments (a really bad move, btw).\u00a0 The pickup guy did a good job of holding it together by ignoring this, as well as hardly posting anything at all having to do with the breakup.<\/p>\n
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What he DID do was put up a post that included a short story from the book \u201cThe Mastery of Love\u201d by Don Miguel Ruiz (a book that EVERYONE should read.\u00a0 I\u2019ll post the link to the story down below) and addressed it to about 20 different smoking hot girls in his Facebook account so they would read it and hopefully post their comments on his page.\u00a0 Since it was a good story, he received favorable comments from the girls which I\u2019m sure evoked some jealously from Gina (I\u2019m 90% positive she was following all the action on his page).<\/p>\n
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Note: Please don\u2019t think this is a magic story that will win you your girl back, no matter what.\u00a0 If I was coaching him, I wouldn\u2019t have recommended that he post this.<\/p>\n
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Anyways\u2026 I don\u2019t normally get involved in people\u2019s relationship issues unless they ask me for help, but since Gina seemed to be hurting really badly, I decided to send her a message. I explained that I had created an exercise (which I wrote about in my book) that helps eliminate the emotional pain of a breakup.\u00a0 I told her I would be happy to send her a copy if she wanted help dealing with her situation.<\/p>\n
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Long story short, after sending a few emails back and forth it became obvious that she didn\u2019t want any help, but just wanted to talk to everyone and anyone who would listen (very typical of someone going through a breakup).\u00a0 I didn\u2019t offer Gina any advice, just listened, and she ended up telling me a key piece of information: she\u2019s broken up with this guy many times before but she always goes running back.<\/p>\n
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After hearing this, I knew how this story would end and I was right.\u00a0 A couple of days later, they were back together.\u00a0 Unfortunately, I still don\u2019t know the particulars of how he got Gina back\u2026 since we don\u2019t have any mutual friends, all I had to go on was what they posted on Facebook (which wasn\u2019t much).<\/p>\n
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So now that you know the story, here\u2019s what you should learn from it.\u00a0 First off, no matter how upset you are with your partner, it\u2019s never a good idea to emotionally explode on a public forum, since you will almost always regret it later.\u00a0 While I can easily list five problems that may have resulted from Gina\u2019s actions, here\u2019s the one they should both be most concerned with:<\/p>\n
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It\u2019s safe to say that most people who own a business will use their Facebook page to promote it, especially if you\u2019re in the \u201cpickup\u201d industry.\u00a0 So let\u2019s estimate that at least 60% of this guy\u2019s Facebook friends are either current or potential clients.\u00a0 And since his wife also helps out at his bootcamps, we can assume that most of his friends will also request her as a friend which gives her about the same percentage of current\/potential clients as friends.<\/p>\n
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With this being the case, do you really think it\u2019s a good idea to give off the impression (to everyone reading) that your husband is the type of guy who mentally abuses and manipulates women\u2026. especially if he makes a living from teaching others how to attract them?<\/p>\n
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I\u2019m sure that when she made these comments she had no intention of taking him back,\u00a0but now that everything\u2019s smoothed over, she needs to realize that she created some\u00a0major problems that aren\u2019t going to just disappear.\u00a0 Personally, if I was considering taking a bootcamp with this guy, I would certainty think twice after hearing some of these accusations.<\/p>\n
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A similar thing happened to the Mystery guy who I mentioned earlier.\u00a0 Supposedly, he ended up having a baby with a Vegas stripper who just so happens to periodically tear into him on Facebook (she also goes back and forth, like Gina, between loving him and hating him).\u00a0 One day, she\u2019ll be going on about how Mystery\u2019s such a huge douchebag and the next day, she\u2019s all happy that they\u2019re together.\u00a0 Again, having a girlfriend (or baby momma) who treats you like this isn\u2019t such a good thing\u2026 especially when you\u2019re in the \u201cmake women feel good\u201d business.<\/p>\n
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Let me end this by saying that everything I just mentioned is my personal opinion and I\u2019m not making any claims about any of the parties I\u2019m writing about.\u00a0 The pickup artist guy might be the nicest person in the whole world and his wife could have been exaggerating everything.\u00a0 I really don\u2019t know, so I\u2019m not passing judgment on anyone.\u00a0 But regardless of the actual facts, I hope you can see that airing your dirty laundry in a public setting is something that should avoided no matter what.<\/p>\n
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In fact, it\u2019s a good idea to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend to read this post and then promise that no matter what happens in the future, you will never purposely try to use the beloved electric friendship generator known as Facebook, to destroy each other\u2019s reputations.<\/p>\n
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And speaking of promises, here\u2019s the link to the Don Miguel Ruiz story:\u00a0 excerpt from Mastery of Love<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Till next time\u2026<\/p>\n <\/p>\n P.S. If you liked this article, please join my mailing list by entering your name and email address into the form on the right.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be notified by email when new articles are published and will also receive my highly acclaimed free report \u201cPush The Button – Seven Proven Success Secrets For A Total Life Transformation\u201d as a gift.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n P.P.S. Don’t forget to request your FREE 30min 1-on-1\u00a0“Rapid Transformation” coaching session by filling out the form on the home page. Go here now: SIGN ME UP!<\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n And please log in and post your comments below.\u00a0\u00a0I look forward to hearing\u00a0your thoughts.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Make it happen,<\/p>\n <\/p>\n -Jay Cataldo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I recently got to watch a breakup between a husband and wife unfold on Facebook which played out like a mini soap opera.\u00a0 What made it especially interesting was the fact that the guy is a pickup coach, very similar to that guy Mystery from the VH1 show \u201cThe Pickup Artist.\u201d… <\/p>\n