Have you ever been betrayed by an ex? Hurts pretty bad doesn’t it?
The good news is, there’s a way to eliminate the pain of a betrayal and it doesn’t involve meds or years of therapy. If you’d like to learn what it is, then keep reading…
Q: I am back with my ex and the relationship is INCREDIBLE now. (We have split up for 3 months) – I got her back and a BIG THANK YOU, JAY!
I have a final question: She slept 1 or 2 times with her ex before me (but apparently didn`t like it – it’s the reason she left him) and then I got her back.
How do I handle feeling “betrayed” and get the pain out of my body, along with the mental movie (she sleeping with him etc.) – I don’t want to even it out or stuff like that.
(I had some sessions with you and also bought your book) – Thank you so much!
(name withheld), Germany
A: Glad you were able to get your ex back. As far as handling the betrayal, it’s never an easy road. However, it’s good that you’re focused on working through it since it’ll need to be resolved if you want to have the best chance at a lasting and successful relationship.
For the future, I recommend learning to be unfazed by female sexual behavior. From what I recall of your situation, your girl didn’t cheat on you – she slept with the new guy after your relationship ended. As upsetting as this might be, imo, she didn’t do anything wrong.
Women enjoy sex just as much as men and most will have sex with other men after a breakup. This is totally normal and natural and must be accepted (as hard as it may be). If you’re threatened by the thought of your girl sleeping with other men, it will come across in your behavior and usually lead to a loss of attraction – coincidentally increasing the chances that she WILL end up sleeping with someone else, so be careful.
As far as eliminating the negative charge around memories, the best technique for this (one I use with all my clients) is EFT. For those unfamiliar with EFT, it’s a form of emotional acupressure where you tap on certain acupressure points while keeping your mind focused on the feelings you want to eliminate. I’ll be the first to say it’s a little weird (ok, it’s REALLY weird) but it gets results like nothing else I’ve seen.
In your case, you should tap on all aspects of the memory until you can think about it without having a negative emotional reaction. You can learn the basics of EFT at http://www.emofree.com/ but I recommend you seek out a competent practitioner who can walk you through the process and make sure you get the results you’re looking for.
Make it happen,